when a client says they’re at breaking point

When clients say they’re at breaking point, facing multiple challenges, how can counsellors help them?

The pressures clients may be dealing with could involve having no money for rent, food and other bills; dealing with the demands of parenting, being carers, living with disabilities; facing loss and the disintegration of health and relationships. Therapists can and do feel the weight of their clients’ distress, especially when the challenges seem insurmountable to the client.

A good therapeutic practitioner in any discipline – counselling through to psychotherapy to clinicians working with patients rather than clients – has empathy, or wouldn’t be much good at what they are aiming to do, which is, first and foremost, to listen and understand before anything else.

Listening and offering genuine understanding, if not of the specifics but the feelings involved, are essential first-line tools by which we help people feel less isolated in their struggles. Despite the enormity of burdens, which are rarely singular but piled onto a mind over time, there are ways counsellors can give vital support: in creating a space where clients feel seen and heard; by validating their experiences and feelings without minimising them.

All of these authentic responses can be profoundly therapeutic from the moment you sit with a client who knows you won’t judge them; aren’t there to provide glib stock responses or answers that may not be suitable to an individual or appropriate. 

It’s important to acknowledge the harsh realities clients face, empathising with their emotions and the weight of it all, rather than trying to ‘fix’ what is beyond immediate control. We do not do that. Just by holding the client’s experiences, we can relieve a fraction of their overwhelm, allowing them to feel less alone and free up  some headspace. 

Counsellors can help clients to build resilience by guiding them from feeling powerless and consumed by their difficulties towards consideration of small, manageable steps that may provide stability or relief, even temporarily. Having information to pass on, such as details on community resources for housing, food, or disability services, can be useful in addressing urgent needs that exacerbate mental strain.

A counsellor can also use tools from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT); mindfulness; and, self-compassion techniques to begin the work of addressing feelings of helplessness often described as ‘drowning’ or ‘suffocating’. 

There is significant responsibility involved in providing a listening and nonjudgmental space, which is one reason why counsellors benefit from supervision and peer support to process their own emotional responses, prevent burnout, and allow them to continue being present and effective for clients facing all kinds of crises. Professional, qualified counsellors work within the guidelines of an ethical framework that supports them to support clients effectively.

Any reference made by a client to being at breaking point needs to be explored, not only to help them find relief and solutions, but to ascertain if there are immediate safeguarding concerns that must be addressed. From a client perspective, it can be empowering to know a counsellor has their safety and best interests in mind. When facing multiple challenges and living with a lot of stress, being able to unpack it all can make a big difference to how difficulties are experienced and thought about. 

xph therapy offers integrative counselling, which means working with multiple therapy types, including CBT, psychotherapeutic and person-centred to develop a therapeutic pathway just for you, whatever outcome you’re hoping to achieve. Get in touch in a variety of ways. See the contact page for more info.