In the development of therapy from Freud onwards, foundational mantras were formulated by old, wealthy, white men of immense privilege.
While many in the profession today are leading us into new expressive and supportive territory when it comes to diversity of representation and revised approaches, some take umbrage when it’s suggested, say, that there’s a desperate need for neurodivergent therapists and adaptive ways of working. It’s like straight people who get angry about gay clubs they’re not welcome to attend unless they go with an LGBTQ+ friend; men who resent women-only spaces; and, the anger provoked by the mere existence of disabled parking bays.
“I can effectively counsel anyone” is an I-want-in delusion reinforced by standard training programmes that make little if any reference to neurodivergency or divergency of any kind, such as race, sex, gender variance, ability and nonconformist (often described as queer but not always) living. Hey, we talk about individual and couples counselling – but what about throuples? Polyamory? Do these words sit with a therapist as ordinarily and unprovoking as others?
Sometimes prejudice is deeply embedded in societal structures and it’s incumbent on therapists to be ever watchful for perspectives rising up from within, internalised from goodness knows where, because they might not be grounded in the lived realities of others. As always, listen and learn. Be curious but polite.
There are going to be times when no amount of unconditional positive regard and other stock-in-trade phrases and formulas can give a therapist the understanding needed in some situations. “I don’t need to understand, I just need to listen and be open.” Well, no, sometimes more is needed but that’s obviously your starting point. You do need to understand and to accept that this understanding will, at times, be limited. That’s okay. It’s not your fault; if it was, you could go learn a thing, bridge the gap. That’s why therapists undertake continued professional development, to improve our work to better help clients.
If a client expresses a sense they’ve got that we won’t be able to understand something relating to what’s called a protected characteristic under the Equality Act, their disability for example, that’s when we help them, if that sense can’t be addressed with effective reassurance and practical steps, to find someone they feel able to work with. Clients actually do worry that we will take offence. We don’t. Or shouldn’t. I can’t speak to or for all.
The opportunities to learn, to grow, to expand your knowledge in this profession are many and varied. I love the fact that you never stop educating yourself as a therapist. For me, there’s no better job to be doing if you can embrace change and always be prepared for the unexpected to come along and challenge your thinking, expand your knowledge. It’s so stimulating. We learn not only from clients and colleagues but also workshops, reading and taking in what’s all around us in the public discourse on every subject there is.
As always, thanks for reading and be kind to yourself and those you may encounter today.
xph therapy offers integrative counselling, which means working with multiple therapy types, including CBT, psychotherapeutic and person-centred to develop a therapeutic pathway just for you, whatever outcome you’re hoping to achieve. Get in touch in a variety of ways. See the contact page for more info.